Now unlacing — London first
A room of one's own.
Phaarzz is a members' parlour where a woman can finally, gloriously, let go. Beautiful private pods, serious extraction engineering, and a strict no-questions policy.
Nobody hears. Nobody knows. Everybody feels better.
How it works
Three minutes to bliss
Open the app
Find your nearest Parlour, check pod availability, and unlock the door with one tap. No reception desk. No small talk.
Slip inside
A warm central parlour — soft light, good mirrors, company if you want it. Off every side, private pods big enough to lie down in.
Let it go
Every pod runs high-power extraction through twin charcoal filters — six air changes a minute. Nobody hears. Nobody knows.
Inside
The Parlour
Think powder room, not public convenience. Every pod is dressed for the occasion:
A chaise longue — stretch out properly; relief favours the horizontal.
Dimmable lighting — from golden hour to practically midnight.
Music & soundscapes — Chopin to white noise, at whatever volume the moment requires.
Vanity mirror & touch-up shelf — leave looking like nothing happened. Nothing did.
Aromatherapy after-mist — you arrive composed and depart a rose garden.
Under the wallpaper: sealed acoustic lining, high-power extraction, twin charcoal filters. The romance is upholstery-deep; the engineering goes to the studs.
Membership
Little luxuries, priced like one
Founding-member pricing, locked for life for the waitlist.
Whisper
Four visits a month, any Parlour, off-peak. For the occasional emergency elegance.
Breeze
Most lovedTwelve visits, all hours, plus a monthly bring-a-friend pass. Generosity is a virtue.
Gale
Unlimited visits, priority pod at peak times, two guest passes. For women of conviction.
For investors
The market has been holding it in
Half the population performs digestive composure in public, every day, for free. Phaarzz turns that unmet need into dense, repeatable urban real estate — London first, then every major city.
women in Greater London — our first catchment
UK annual spend on discreet personal-wellness spaces
of women surveyed suppress in public daily — internal survey, n = 412
Unit economics
Build cost per unit (8 pods)
£185k
Revenue per unit at 70% utilisation
£27.5k/mo
Contribution margin
62%
Payback per unit
11 months
Units are manufactured centrally; once footing and utilities are in, on-site assembly takes two days.
The ask — £500k pre-seed
First two London Parlours
45%
App & access platform
25%
Manufacturing tooling
20%
Team & operations
10%
The team
Dr Jo — Founder & CEO
Ten years opening members' clubs women actually use; left to build the room they kept asking for.
Dr Kelly — Founder & CPO
Owns the product end to end — the app, the unlock flow, and the pod experience itself.
Dr Gabs — CIO
Runs the data and access platform. Discretion by design: we know occupancy, never occupants.
Dr Jim — COO
Manufacturing and rollout — from central factory to a two-day on-site assembly, city after city.
The waitlist
First in, first to exhale
London opens first; more cities to follow. Founding members keep founding prices for life. We will never tell anyone you're on this list.